anxiety attack...

ok, well this is likely the most nervous i have been in a very long time. i dont know why i am trembling the way i am, but i just cant help it. i feel like i am overloaded already and classes haven't even started yet. i have a little under an hour till i have to report to my first class- biomolecular genetics.
i hope your party went well misti, i would have loved to have dropped by, but i was far to busy moving my ten tons of shit in the room. here is a rundown of my schedule...


9am- genetics
10am- applied statistics
11am- philosophy and ethics
12pm- theology and ethics

...then on tuesdays i have a genetics lab till almost 5pm

i am so eff'n nervous. i have never been a math student, and i have a math class this year. this is terrifying. everything at this school is hard, so if math was hard in highschool for me then i dont even want to begin to think about this stuff.
last semester i crashed. i hit such a low point that i didn't want to get out of bed moreless study. so, my grades reflected it. pile that on top of that little mishap with chemistry and the pretty yet useless lab partner and it is easy to see why my grades sank to just below 3.0.

so, this is my semester to turn it all around. i have to. i just hope i can. i have had such a good time with everyone over the summer. i see so many people here that just couldn't wait to get back to college. i am one of the few who actually had a lot of fun at home. its times like this that make me want to just transfer out to UL or IUS or something, but i know i have to keep pushing.

i got up this morning and ran for 17 minutes...its a shame thats all i can do now...i really need to get back in shape. i hope everyone's year is going well so far. i hope within a couple of weeks i will be able to get on here and talk about how great things are going, but "not knowing" is killing me right now.

i miss everyone so much and can't wait to talk to all of you, and to misti, malorie, and ashley i absolutely cannot wait till cedar point this weekend.

...4 days and counting...

*misti, i think i need a heart monitor...i feel an anxiety attack coming